The phrase "unending faithfulness" is one that often comes to mind when I reflect on the goodness and character of God. I am blown away when I think about all the times HIS faithfulness has been and is evident in my life. Even when it's not "evident" to me, it still remains. Just thinking about it right now brings countless experiences and circumstances that I have had over the span of my life that point to undeniable evidence of God's faithful hand at work in my life. These thoughts also bring songs to mind such as "Great is Thy Faithfulness" (one of my all time favorites) and "How Great is Our God." I am so thankful for Christ's presence in my life! I am also thankful that HE's not through with me yet.
As I prepared to share at our elementary school faculty devotions, I was trying to discern what exactly it was that God wanted to say to my colleagues. Well, I wrestled back and forth with what was most important. What has God been teaching me? How can I best encourage those I work with? What part of my testimony should I leave out? And the questions went on. In the midst of all that thinking, one thing stood out and remained consistent throughout my testimony---the Bible's influence. God's word has and always will be an active part of the life of a believer. It has encouraged, disciplined, challenged, inspired, humbled, and lifted me up throughout my walk with Jesus. The other thing that has remained consistent is God's patience with me and HIS faithfulness to remind me of who HE is and who I am b/c of HIS presence in my life. I seem to be taught the same lessons by God in cycles and often times through different scriptures that convey the same message. I guess I'm in need of refresher courses/reminders from time to time. Here's how my cycle works:
1. I feel God telling me to do something. Ex: "Thou shalt leave America." I immediately realize that I must obey or disobey. However, I'm initially thinking, "That's great God. Let me research places that I'd feel comfortable moving to, plan out how the next few years of my life will work into overseas ministry, and then I'll go." God uses Hebrews 11:8 to inspire me to obey immediately, without having every last detail. It says, "By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to the place for which he'd receive as an inheritance. And he went out, NOT KNOWING WHERE HE WAS GOING."
2. Okay, Lord, I'm going or doing this, but I'm not going or doing without you. Exodus 33:15-16 says, "Moses said to HIM, 'If your presence doesn't go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me...unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me...from all the other people on the face of the earth?"
After acknowledging my desire for God to go with me, I'm sailing smooth for a while until the "Attack of the Mind" comes into the picture just like JAWS.
3. I go through this phase..."Now, Lord, do you realize what you're asking me to do? Do you realize who you're talking to? Do you realize I could screw things up royally? I don't know about this plan."
HE answers, "My grace is sufficient for you, Audie. My strength is made perfect in your weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9) "You have such trust through Christ toward [ME]. Not that [you] are sufficient of [yourself] to think of anything as being from from [yourself], but [your] sufficiency if from [ME], Audie." (2 Corinthians 3:4-5)
Then, I rest easy for a while and respond with relief, realizing that the task is not left up to me alone. It has nothing to do with my skills or lack thereof. I don't even have to know what HE's going to do with or through me. I just have to make myself available and obediently follow HIM.
4. Then, I go through the phase of uncertain certainty. It goes like this..."God, I know you're in control. I know that Your strength is made perfect in my frailty. I know that I can do all things through YOU. I know Your timing is perfect. BUT (and it's a big but) I'd feel a little more comfortable if You'd let me in on the details. I'll obey YOU and do what YOU say, BUT it'd be great to have the when and where of things and maybe the why, too. It'd put my little heart at ease and my worries would be lessened."
HE answers, "[I] will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on [ME], because he trusts in [ME]." (Isaiah 26:3) "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are My ways your ways. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9)
Then, I remember the last 100 times I went through this cycle and thank God for HIS patience with me and HIS willingness to re-remind me of HIS sovereignty and faithfulness yet again.
There are 2 scriptures/promises that have encouraged my heart over the past several months. I will share them with you in closing and pray that they will encourage you as well.
"For the Lord is a sun and shield; the Lord will give grace and glory; NO GOOD THING WILL HE WITHHOLD FROM THOSE WHO WALK UPRIGHTLY." Psalm 84:11
"Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the LORD, knowing that YOUR LABOR IS NOT IN VAIN IN THE LORD." I Corinthians 15:58
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Emphatically Awed by God
Okay, so I realize that I'm an inconsistant blogger. However, I just so happen to be serving a very consistant Master. HE is never-changing, always reliable, and unmistakably Sovereign. I am utterly exhausted at present, yet so overwhelmed by HIS faithfulness, it's hard to let my mind rest easy. Let's just say that God does hear our prayers, respond to them, and perfect HIS strength in our weaknesses so that we can glorify HIM in the tasks HE's set before us to carry out. I have been so encouraged by who HE is in my own life and in the ministry HE's called me to. Let's just say that although I've felt a little "changed" since my earlier years, the God I surrendered to 20 years ago (WOW! I can't believe I can say that. One score and several months ago, I gave my life to Jesus Christ.---Craziness! I feel like I should be wearing a top hat and beard.) is still the same and is still reminding me of HIS unchanging character and revealing HIS power to me in new and fresh ways. Let me explain...
For the most part, public speaking has never been a fear-raising factor in my life. I mean, I think I popped out of the womb talking. I probably interviewed my delivery doctor right then and there. I was a child full of questions and ready to interrogate anyone willing to entertain my questions. My Aunt Joker always used to say that God engineered me with a button on my bottom, b/c whenever I sat down in the car, to eat dinner, to watch a movie, etc...my mouth started to run and run and run and...you get the picture. I remember a few times feeling a little nervous right before giving a speech in college or something, but other than a few butterflies and sporting a red face for about 15 seconds, speaking in front of others hasn't been a huge fear of mine. Since arriving in Korea, I have wondered a couple of times where good ol' Audra went, b/c this new Audie girl has been freaking out about speaking in front of large groups.
First of all, I "voluntarily" signed up to lead one of the large group Bible lessons for our Immersion (middle school Spring Break mission journey to Indonesia) training session. After learning that 60 something students and 16 other faculty members were going to be in attendance at these sessions, I was like, "Oh my stars! What have I done? Why did I sign up to teach to that large group? And why did I sign up to teach at the 2nd meeting of all things? There are like ex-pastors, experienced missionaries, and chaplains in that group of faculty members. I shouldn't be teaching them. OH STARS! I'll probably say something wrong and lose all credibility as a "bringer of the word." I'll be fired from the trip!" I told my mom over the phone that I must have been on crack when I signed up. Or maybe, just maybe, INSULIN inhibits one's abilities to make common-sense choices. Well, we know that too much insulin does indeed do that, but that's a whole other story. I'll just stick with the crack excuse, b/c I know that my blood sugar wasn't low when I typed on the dotted line.
Anyway, in the midst of this dilemma, our sweet elementary school chaplain, Dr. Casino, asked if I'd be willing to share my testimony during our elementary school faculty devotions. Immediately I thought, "Hot DOG! Another opportunity to speak in front of a group of seasoned Christian adults." Actually, in all honesty, I was quite encouraged by the request but a little overwhelmed and feeling a little underqualified. I do enjoy sharing with others what God is doing in my life, but for some reason, Satan was attacking me in the confidence area. As I began to prepare for the Immersion meeting, I started with the provided, pre-preparation devotion. God could not have hand-chosen a better passage to calm my frantic state of mind. I kind of laughed after reading it and thanked God for HIS comforting words.
The passage was 2 Corinthians 3:4-6: "And we have such trust through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God, who also made us sufficient as ministers of the new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills but the Spirit gives life."
I imagined Jesus looking down at me and saying, "Rest easy, child. I agree with you. You can't do it in and of yourself. Your sufficiency comes from ME. Trust in ME for the sufficiency of the task at hand."
What peace I felt instantly as I reflected on God's word! Not all my nervousness went away, but my reservations and questions about whether I could do it disappeared. That was no longer the question or the point. The question became, "Do I acknowledge Christ as my sufficiency?" It then became a matter of my willingness to submit to and rely upon God alone to prepare me through HIS word and speak through me.
Of course I'm my own worst critic, but the session turned out okay! I did not get "booed." (At least not that I could hear.) Tomatoes were not thrown at me. I did not hyperventilate. And most importantly, to my knowledge, I was able to speak the truth of God's word without distorting it or leading others astray. I pray that HIS message of hope and the fact that we must accept it was conveyed to all in attendance that day.
Have a fantabulous day! Please let me know of your encounters with the Father. How has HE encouraged or challenged you this week? Be blessed!
For the most part, public speaking has never been a fear-raising factor in my life. I mean, I think I popped out of the womb talking. I probably interviewed my delivery doctor right then and there. I was a child full of questions and ready to interrogate anyone willing to entertain my questions. My Aunt Joker always used to say that God engineered me with a button on my bottom, b/c whenever I sat down in the car, to eat dinner, to watch a movie, etc...my mouth started to run and run and run and...you get the picture. I remember a few times feeling a little nervous right before giving a speech in college or something, but other than a few butterflies and sporting a red face for about 15 seconds, speaking in front of others hasn't been a huge fear of mine. Since arriving in Korea, I have wondered a couple of times where good ol' Audra went, b/c this new Audie girl has been freaking out about speaking in front of large groups.
First of all, I "voluntarily" signed up to lead one of the large group Bible lessons for our Immersion (middle school Spring Break mission journey to Indonesia) training session. After learning that 60 something students and 16 other faculty members were going to be in attendance at these sessions, I was like, "Oh my stars! What have I done? Why did I sign up to teach to that large group? And why did I sign up to teach at the 2nd meeting of all things? There are like ex-pastors, experienced missionaries, and chaplains in that group of faculty members. I shouldn't be teaching them. OH STARS! I'll probably say something wrong and lose all credibility as a "bringer of the word." I'll be fired from the trip!" I told my mom over the phone that I must have been on crack when I signed up. Or maybe, just maybe, INSULIN inhibits one's abilities to make common-sense choices. Well, we know that too much insulin does indeed do that, but that's a whole other story. I'll just stick with the crack excuse, b/c I know that my blood sugar wasn't low when I typed on the dotted line.
Anyway, in the midst of this dilemma, our sweet elementary school chaplain, Dr. Casino, asked if I'd be willing to share my testimony during our elementary school faculty devotions. Immediately I thought, "Hot DOG! Another opportunity to speak in front of a group of seasoned Christian adults." Actually, in all honesty, I was quite encouraged by the request but a little overwhelmed and feeling a little underqualified. I do enjoy sharing with others what God is doing in my life, but for some reason, Satan was attacking me in the confidence area. As I began to prepare for the Immersion meeting, I started with the provided, pre-preparation devotion. God could not have hand-chosen a better passage to calm my frantic state of mind. I kind of laughed after reading it and thanked God for HIS comforting words.
The passage was 2 Corinthians 3:4-6: "And we have such trust through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God, who also made us sufficient as ministers of the new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills but the Spirit gives life."
I imagined Jesus looking down at me and saying, "Rest easy, child. I agree with you. You can't do it in and of yourself. Your sufficiency comes from ME. Trust in ME for the sufficiency of the task at hand."
What peace I felt instantly as I reflected on God's word! Not all my nervousness went away, but my reservations and questions about whether I could do it disappeared. That was no longer the question or the point. The question became, "Do I acknowledge Christ as my sufficiency?" It then became a matter of my willingness to submit to and rely upon God alone to prepare me through HIS word and speak through me.
Of course I'm my own worst critic, but the session turned out okay! I did not get "booed." (At least not that I could hear.) Tomatoes were not thrown at me. I did not hyperventilate. And most importantly, to my knowledge, I was able to speak the truth of God's word without distorting it or leading others astray. I pray that HIS message of hope and the fact that we must accept it was conveyed to all in attendance that day.
Have a fantabulous day! Please let me know of your encounters with the Father. How has HE encouraged or challenged you this week? Be blessed!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
